Synch or swim

The Sunday Express | 9 Jun 1996

I am wearing a clothes peg on my nose while impersonating a paraplegic frog. Blowing underwater bubbles, with one leg up, the other bent. Now I’m grappling with the glamorous Travelling Ballet Leg sequence – but looking like a sinking lawnmower. Next I do the Tub Turn, rotating with my knees and feet on the water’s surface, like something that has gone wrong in the launderette. Meanwhile svelte women swim around me with precision, skill and co-ordination.

• Caroline’s Life