Caroline Phillips

Journalism

Caroline Phillips
“Caroline Phillips is a tenacious and skilful writer with a flair for high quality interviewing and a knack for making things work.”

Caroline Phillips

Journalism

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The lentil touch

Evening Standard | 4 Jun 1990

They are crawling around in the dark on all fours making animal noises. Among them Bearded Bernie, a Liverpudlian solicitor, a translator and a girl who cycled here from Barcelona.

The scene: a lovely Greek farmhouse. The aim: to find your partner for the co-listening exercise, hold hands, listen intently to what he says, and then feed him back his words.

Welcome to the Guardian readers’ Butlins.


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When credit runs out at the sperm bank

Evening Standard | 20 Nov 1989

It’s hellishly hard to get hold of frozen sperm these days. I’m sitting in the Lister Hospital – the Dorchester of London hospitals – in the waiting-room of the Assisted Conception Unit. The doctor is running three-quarters of an hour late. I can only console myself with the thought that if I were going for artificial insemination on the National Health I’d probably have to wait months.

I am hoping to get offered some sperm-bank sperm and thus become one of the growing number of single women who are accepted for artificial insemination by donor sperm (AID).


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Tramp and the ladies

Evening Standard | 8 May 1989

The pouting girl in the loo shimmered, unremarkable legs squeezed into Lycra tights and see-how-far-you-can-go skirt hitched high. “Go on, you’re next,” she said. “It’s your turn.”

“I don’t want any,” I say.

“It’s coke.” She proffers a razor blade packet of snow provocatively from the palm of her hand. Outside, blissfully unaware, Mrs Toilet Attendant, sixtysomething, loses her rag: “Hurry up. We’re B-U-S-Y.” She spells out the word. Nearby stands a dish of peppermints, le pre snog preparation that the management vous propose, and a mound of makeup left behind.

Thus begins a night at Tramp, the London nightclub in which Pamella Bordes picked up Sunday Times editor Andrew Neil.


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Roll out the doggie

Evening Standard | 14 Mar 1989

My family has what must be London’s only dachshund on wheels. She’s called Muffit. Crufts and suchlike are fine – working dogs, gun dogs, pedigree chums, prowling prancers and canines with unpronounceable Chinese names. But against her, they pale into insignificance.

Muffit was under the supervision of Keith Butt, the Adonis vet whom women cross London to see (they stop off in Harrods en route to buy a pet to take with them). Following an accident in which her back legs had become paralysed, he suggested she be sent to the kennel in the sky.

My father went to see her in doggy hospital to give her her last grapes. He ended up writing a cheque for some fantastic amount (relative to the size of the dog) which was duly dispatched to the States (where else?) where some doggy wheels were speedily fired, or run up or whatever you do to make canine roller skates.


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My father, the luckiest President

The Times | 8 Feb 1988

This week a commission of historians will deliver their verdict on the wartime conduct of Kurt Waldheim. For his most ardent supporter, his daughter Christa, there can be only one possible outcome.

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Ladies’ day in the killing fields

The Times | 6 Jan 1988

Sue Smith first went shooting 20 years ago, when she was seven. Her father, a gun-smith, took her on a duck shoot. At 10, she was giver her first gun, ‘a 28-bore, the next size up from a 410’. She went pigeon shooting.

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The £200,000 reason why they hate this woman

E.S. | 4 Oct 1987

This year 34-year-old Gerry Bridgewater may earn £235,000. That’s a basic salary of £35,000 plus between £20,000 and £200,000 n commissions. For Gerry was the first female dealer permitted to trade in the Ring of the London Metal Exchange; a coup that involved a lengthy fight. Subsequently she broke a 109-year-old tradition and became the first female individual subscriber permitted to trade on her own account. ‘I never take no for an answer. I’m a strong self-believer,’ she explains. She is the LME’s own Iron Lady.


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Seduction on sale

The Times | 12 Jun 1987

The first incident of sales promotion in action, according to Iain Arthur, occurred in Genesis, in the Garden of Eden. Adam ate an apple from the Tree of Knowledge and paid the price. In this case the snake was the salesman, the tree was superbly merchandised, with excellent display support material and the price was self doubt. ‘So what part of Eve have to play in this point-of-sale decision to purchase?’

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Ballgowns to best sellers – Una-Mary Parker

The Times | 8 Jun 1987

If you have not heard of Una-Mary Parker yet, you soon will have. She is currently embroiled in scandals that involve sex, drugs, fraud and embezzlement, and last week she masterminded a hijack and broke down in tears after a friend took an overdose and died. ‘I have experienced some of these things,’ explains the charity queen-turned-novelist, ‘but 90 per cent come from my imagination. ‘ They occur, in fact, in her still unfinished second novel, Scandals (her first, Riches, is due out this summer).

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There’s money in those mouths

The Times | 6 May 1987

This weekend a ‘chatathon’ will raise money for charity and reveal a new champion talker

Maria Meredith, aged 31, talks non-stop. Her loquaciousness, inspired by an occasional nod, runs smoothly from the subject of holidays to ironing, the media, children, cement and her kitchen fittings. She talks incessantly – she offers a marathon of words. One imagines her builder husband, like some enforced trainee Quaker, coping by placing insulation wadding either in his ears or mouth.

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